


Willie x Alex + Maths = Instant Love (shut up, Luke)

by Hold_My_Headphones



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, How Do I Tag, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tutoring, hold_my_headphones, they're both 17 in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26499721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hold_My_Headphones/pseuds/Hold_My_Headphones
Summary: Willie had corded muscles that sent Alex’s intestines into complicated Simone-Biles-level twists and flips. As Willie reached up to unclip the clasp of a heavy ash-coloured helmed strapped below his chin, he shook out his hair like a dog in rain. His hair – something Alex was positive he could already write Shakespeare-type monologues on – looked like it was pulled from a Pantene advert, it was slightly mussed from the helmet, giving him the I-rolled-out-of-bed-this-way style, the slight curls at the front framed his sharp cheekbones and-“Hey dude. I’m Willie. You’re tutoring me in maths. Your name’s Alex, right?”------------------Because it's just Alex's luck that the guy he's tutoring is a freaking Adonis.---------------Meanwhile, Luke works through his sexuality crisis and not-a-crush on his bro Reggie.Luke huffed, “The problem is- I’m straight.”“The problem is that you’re straight? Honestly, that makes sense.”
Relationships: Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 179
Kudos: 552





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Saw Julie and The Phantoms, saw some fellow Gays, and couldn't resist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw Julie and The Phantoms, saw some fellow Gays, and couldn't resist.

Willie tried to contort his face into something that vaguely represented a smile as he stood next to Mrs Watt’s desk. Hopefully, if he looked cheerful, she would spare him any overly harsh punishments for his admittedly dismal algebra results. 

“William, I understand that you’re having difficulty with Algebra classes. But I’ve decided I won’t be punishing you for it,”

_Thank god._

“Instead, I have a way of helping you – I’ve enrolled your name in our tutoring program, and you’ve been assigned a tutor.”

_Seriously?_

_Apparently, him and Mrs Watt had wildly differing ideas of what ‘not punishing you’ meant._

_The last thing Willie needed was someone his own age bossing him around just because he failed a few algebra assignments._

_Ok. Fine. More than a few._

_A lot._

“- I’ll email you all of the details by tomorrow morning, and I expect you to be on time.” _Oh right. The she-devil was still talking._  


He tried his best to conceal any annoyance from bleeding into his tone as he spoke, his eyebrows scrunching slightly in the way they always did when he was frustrated. “Yes, Mrs Watt. Thank you.” 

\---------------------

Alex sat in a small desk tucked into an alcove in the student library, rhythmically tapping his fingers on the dark grey denim on his jeans as he idly marked more calculations into the sheets of algebra revision laid out in front of him.

Alex was by not, by any definition, a goody-two-shoes. In fact, he was miles away from any sort of nerd-labelled territory at all – he never set out to ruin other peoples fun, and he rather enjoyed the odd party or two that Luke had dragged him to over the years.   
He was in a band _(an awesome band, by the way)_ , and was constantly being yelled at for running at a _faster-than-appropriate-or-safe_ pace in corridors. Logically, Alex knew he had rather impressive marks in he majority of his subjects – but he was certain that all his teachers hated him with irrevocable passion. In particular, Mrs Watt, who made it seem as if she loathed him with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.

 _Ok, ‘the intensity of a thousand burning suns’ was a slight exaggeration. But she certainly wasn’t_ fond _of Alex._

So, after being asked by Mrs Watt to tutor some ‘William’ in algebra – the moment of confusion and _are-you-sure-you’re-asking-the-right-Alex_ was a _totally_ justified response. But, in the spirit of kindness (and the spirit of not failing algebra because he pissed off the teacher), Alex had agreed to tutor ‘William’ twice a week – on Tuesdays and Thursdays, because Mondays and Wednesdays were band practice and Alex _was not_ tutoring _anyone_ , passing grade be damned, on a Friday afternoon.

_Fridays were holy._

_And algebra and holy were two things would never, ever, go together._

Yanking himself out of his Friday-related train of thoughts, Alex checked his watch, the silver hand was indicating that it was almost four o’clock – almost time to meet his student-to-be.

As if on a well-rehearsed cue, the chair beside him was pulled out, and a body dropped down into it in a way that would only be described as slightly sulky. 

_Well shit._

Alex had prepared himself for a countless range of possibilities: from William turning out to be a sweaty football jock with no regards for personal hygiene; too William being an annoying snot-nosed brat who picked at his nose; or even William just _not turning up_.

What Alex was not expecting was William to be _hot_. 

_Like greek-god-on-earth-hot._

William had corded muscles that sent Alex’s intestines into complicated _Simone-Biles-level_ twists and flips. As William reached up to unclip the clasp of a heavy ash-coloured helmed strapped below his chin, he shook out his hair like a dog in rain. His hair– something Alex was positive he could already write Shakespeare-type monologues on – looked like it was pulled from a Pantene advert, it was slightly mussed from the helmet, giving him the _I-rolled-out-of-bed-this-way_ style, the slight curls at the front framed his sharp cheekbones and-

“Hey dude, I’m Willie.”

“Oh. I- Uh...” Alex was painfully aware of how acutely idiotic he sounded. _There went his chance of a good first impression._

_Oh right. Yes. The alphabetic system was created for a reason. Well done Alex._

After the embarrassingly long time it took for Alex to grasp the concept of basic English language, he opened his mouth to speak. 

“Hi, I’m Alex. Nice to meet you.”

Willie’s response was clipped and slightly abrasive, “You too. Let’s just get this over with.” 

_So it was going to be like that. Which was a shame, since Alex had hoped for a at least some small talk with algebra-failing Adonis before work began._

“Ok, so what part in algebra are you having trouble with?”

“None of it.”

“I mean, which parts could you use some help in.”

“None at all.”

“Could I see your last homework assignment at least?”

“Sure.” Willie unzipped his backpack with the speed of a particularly lazy snail, and pulled out the requested sheet.

Which. Was. Completely. Empty.

Alex took a deep breath, determined not to loose his temper less than fifteen minutes into the hour and tugged sharply at the ends of his dark fraying jacket sleeve. It probably wasn’t the most optimal tutor-mindset for Alex to want to jump the bones of the incredibly attractive boy in front of him while simultaneously wishing to beat Willie over the head with a baseball bat. 

_Hopefully, the situation could still be salvaged_. “Ok, can you try and do the first question so I can see what’s going wrong.”

Reluctantly, the boy reached for his bag again, pencilling in a few lines of working in his spider-scrawl before being stopped by Alex. 

“No, see, the square root of X squared plus sixteen isn’t the same as X plus four.” Alex pointed his pen to the corresponding lines of working to emphasize his point.

Willie sounded slightly shocked at the correction, as if had for some reason expected Alex to _not_ help him with his mistakes. “Oh, right thanks,” After a few moments of silence, Willie spoke again, though his tone was still frosty, it was paired with resigned acceptance. “What should I do next?”

Alex shifted closer to Willie as he began to explain. 

“Well, you factorise the brackets, here…”

_Maybe Alex could make this work._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first work on the archive, I tried a more casual writing style - comments and kudos are awesome and would make my day, but aren't necessary.


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s kinda like you have a cruuuushhhhhh on him.” Reggie sing-songed the word ‘crush’ like a toddler gossiping about a playground romance – faux swooning and making little hearts with his hands as he said the words.  
> ***  
> In which Alex and Willie schedule a kinda-not-really-sure-if-it's-a-date, Luke and Reggie tease Alex about his crush, and Luke totally doesn't have a crush on Reggie, who is 'just his bro'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... chapter two! For anyone wondering, Julie, Flynn and Bobby will all make appearances soon. Alex is out to Luke and Reggie, but no one else, and certainly NOT his parents. Bobby is out of country for plot-ease reasons :) This is a more jokey chapter with more Luke & Reggie & Alex content, plus the beginnings of Luke/Reggie. Hope y'all enjoy!

“Have I told you how much I hate-”

“-Willie, we know, you’ve said so a _million_ times.” Luke let out a tired groan as Reggie slid into the seat beside him.

 _Ok, Alex’s annoyance with Willie was_ totally _justified. Twice every week, without fail, he would turn up with his stupid marble-statue looking body and his stupid shampoo-add hair and moan about how ‘he didn’t need tutoring’ before attempting a worksheet and demonstrating_ exactly _why he needed tutoring._

“You’ve said it so many times it reminds me of that time I tried to fix my speakers in the rain and they played the same three cords on repeat for an hour.”

“Why were you fixing your speakers in the rain in the first place, Reggie?”

“Because he has no self-preservation what so ever-”

“I was very clearly making a point about Alex’s borderline unhealthy obsession with Willie, I did not asked to be _attacked_ because I fixed my speakers in the rain _one time.”_

“I seem to remember _multiple_ instances of you doing that actually, Reggie.”

“I can’t have done it more times than you’ve brought Willie up in conversation over the last few weeks – you’ve said his name a million times over this one lunch break. Luke, back me up here.”

“Well, you _have_ attempted to fix your speakers in the rain _at least a thousand times,_ so-”

“That is the _literal opposite_ of backing me up, Luke.”

“ _But,_ Reggie is right,” Luke shot Reggie the _married-couple-if-you-had-just-let-me-finish_ look before continuing, “You _have_ been kinda fixated on this guy lately.”

_Man. Luke was so whipped for Reggie._

“It’s kinda like you have a _cruuuushhhhhh_ on him.” Reggie sing-songed the word ‘crush’ like a toddler gossiping about a playground romance – faux swooning and making little hearts with his hands as he said the words.

“I _do not_ have a crush on him, Reginald! He’s so _infuriating._ Like yesterday, he had his hair _open,_ and it was _everywhere._ He has the time to annoy the hell out of me twice a week and _totally purposefully_ make mistakes _just to bother me,_ but he can’t _buy a hair tie-”_

“So you dislike him because he had his hair open yesterday? I dunno man, I think Reggie was right about the whole crush thing.” Luke’s eyes crinkled as he smirked widely – the pride on his face making it seem as if he had solved the world hunger crisis, as opposed to speculating about Alex’s school-boy crush with Reggie.

Alex groaned as Luke and Reggie giggled at the concept of Alex’s hapless infatuation with Willie. “Stop _laughing,_ do you know how hard it is to teach him with his _freaking adorable_ little frown and-”

“You’re in _loooooveeeeeee.”_

 _“_ Shut up.”

“Alex is in _loooveeeeeeee,_ Alex is in _loooooveeeeee!”_

“You guys are the _worst.”_

_**********_

A smile stretched across Willie’s face as he looked over the papers Alex had just passed him ( _and_ dear god _he looked like a puppy when he smiled: adorable, cuddly and so kissable- wait. No. Not kissable. Not at all. Certainly not.)_

“Dude! You’re actually saying that I could actually get a C+ on my maths test?”

“Yeah, seriously, you’ve improved loads in the past three weeks Willie.” Alex chuckled at Willie’s shocked look. In all honesty, Willie was never really as terrible as he seemed to think at maths – he just didn’t seem to cope well with Mrs Watts teaching style. _Who could? All she ever did was bark equations at her students all day long. Did she have that on her resume? Professional student-screamer?_

“Look dude, if I’m going to pass the test anyways, do you wanna just leave today’s session, or something? There’s that new ice-cream shop down to corner, maybe we could go. Together, or something?”

_Wait. What? Was Mr-I’m-too-cool-(and-sexy)-for-school asking him out? Did Willie even like guys? Was this platonic, or just some sort of technique to skip tutoring?_

“Tell you what. Pass the maths test and we’ll check out the ice-cream place.” _Wow, where did_ that _confidence come from. Would it even work? Or would Willie just laugh it off?_

“Sure.”

Alex gaped at him for a seconds - no doubt looking like a confused fish extra from _Finding Nemo_ \- for a few seconds before he realised Willie was still talking.

“So, tutor. You gonna help me pass this maths test or what?” A chuckle rose up in Alex’s throat as he shuffled closer to Willie.

***********

“-And then, he was all like ‘gonna help me with this Maths test or not’ – and carried on as normal!” Alex had contained his inner monologue for the entire hour in the library, however, relaying it play-by-play to Luke it poured out of him in a spirited retelling of what would be now known _The Conversation._

_‘The Conversation’ which could become the start of the next great love story – like Romeo and Juliet, sans the constant violence and eventual suicide, hopefully._

“Dude, you are in so deep.” Luke reached up to ruffle Alex’s hair as he collapsed into silent, lighthearted sniggers.

“You’re one too talk.”

Feigning a relaxed posture, Luke shoved his hands into the pockets of his baggy denim jeans. “Alex, man. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re not that subtle – you can go on about that Julie girl as much as you like but it’s fairly obvious how you look at Reggie.”

“Reggie’s my _bro,_ nothing more.”

“I saw him _hand-feed you strawberries_ earlier today, I’m your bro, and you don’t hand feed _me_ strawberries.”

“We were just joking around-”

“Oh yeah, _sure dude._ I believe you.”

“ _Thank you-_ Oh, you’re being sarcastic. Let’s just change the subject.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was the dialogue terrible? Funny? Painful to read? Please tell me in the comments - or just leave a kudos and it would be super appreciated :) If you hated this , and don't want any more dialogue-heavy chapters in the future, please tell me that as well!


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn. Willie was, as Alex had suspected, a gift from the heavens. It was taking all of Alex’s self-control not to kneel down and propose right then.  
> ****  
> Luke huffed, “The problem is- I’m straight.”  
> “The problem is that you’re straight? Honestly, that makes sense.”  
> ****  
> In which Alex and Willie go on their ice-cream-not-date, Alex dies and it's all because of a hotdog and Luke gets absolutely no where in solving his sexuality crisis. On the plus side - Willie may not be as straight as Alex had thought.

“Look at that, a C+, check me out.” _I already do._ A smile broke out across Willie’s face as he slid the papers down across the library table.

Alex snatched the papers from Willie's hand before breaking out into an identical grin. He put on a high voice, imitating Mrs Watt’s voice. “Are you sure you didn’t cheat, William?”

Willie lightly shoved him, both of them giggling like children, before being interrupted by the librarian.

“William, Alex, be quiet. Please!” _Seriously? He and Willie were totally having a moment – of_ course _she had to go and ruin it, just Alex’s luck. Wait. No. No moment. Alex didn’t even know if Willie liked guys – he could be straight. Honestly, the universe would probably find it funny to have Alex crushing on a straight guy._

“Sorry, Mrs Wentworth,” William continued in a hushed voice, “So… ice cream?”

“A promise is a promise.” Alex grin, then winked _(hello, random burst of confidence)_ “Let’s go.” Alex shrugged on his denim jacket while Willie shouldered his bag and slung his jacket over his arm, escaping the murderous glares of the librarian _(Alex wouldn't be surprised if they gave librarians death-stare schooling, with, like, exams on how to scare students and shit.)_

_****_

“I’ll have… chocolate ice cream please.”

Willie smiled, taking his own mint ice cream from the lady behind the counter, “Good choice, you can never go wrong with chocolate.”

 _Oh god._ _What should Alex say – he’d never even had a full non-maths-related conversation with Willie before, and because the universe both hated and loved Alex, Willie’s hair was_ open, _which rendered Alex unable to fully concentrate on much but Willie’s model-like profile._

_What?_

_It’s not Alex’s fault, it was just that Willie’s hair was like his freaking superpower._

“So, Willie, where do you live?” _Wow, Alex. Out of all the conversation starters there were in the world, you had to choose the one that made you sound most like a stalker. Great going._

“Y’know that museum opposite the beach? Yeah, I live in the building opposite that.”

“Oh! My bandmate, Bobby, lives there, he’s on an exchange program in Germany right now. Actually, I’m kinda surprised I haven’t seen you round there already.”

“Well, I have a job at the Hollywood Ghost Club as a dance extra, and ‘cause my boss is a bit of a tyrant, I work long night shifts most days.”

 _Holy shit. He skateboarded, he danced, and he was adonis-on-earth. Could he get_ any more _attractive?_

“Hollywood Ghost Club, huh. Fancy.” Alex elbowed him good-naturedly. “Doesn’t Caleb Colvington own that place?”

“Yeah, he’s actually my boss – he’s a bit of a prick, really.”

Once the conversation had began, it flowed quite easily – talking about; family, Willie had two younger twin sisters; school, them both agreeing that Mrs Watts was possibly a demon from the underworld and music, which they both seemed pretty into.

 _Damn. Willie_ was, _as Alex had suspected, a gift from the heavens. It was taking all of Alex’s self-control not to kneel down and propose right then._

“Well yeah, the band’s going pretty steady right now, actually. A couple of small gigs at bars and shows – nothing too big, but it’s fun anyways. Actually, we’ve got a gig this weekend at The Lions Ring, if you wanna come?”

“Yeah, man! That would be awesome.”

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Willie was gonna see him perform, everything had to be perfect. This was Alex’s one chance to impress Willie and Alex was gonna be super smooth and-_

_Shit._

“Alex, man – you okay?”

Alex looked up from where he had slipped on the floor, peeling the remnants of what seemed to be a half-eaten hotdog off of his t-shirt. Looking down, he could see mustard and ketchup stains decorating his top – as if it was a sign from the universe saying ‘ _Haha_ _Loser!_ ”.

 _Evil hotdog. Alex always knew that hotdogs would be the death of him – but he had always thought it would be from eating to many of them, not ‘Embarrassment by Hotdog Fall”. People said embarrassment couldn't kill you, but they had never done_ this _._

_He could already see the words in his obituary._

_“Here lies Alex, who unfortunately died on the 20 th July 2020 due to embarrassment by hotdog fall in front of Adonis-On-Earth. May his humiliated soul rest in peace.”_

_The universe was the worst – couldn’t it leave Alex in peace for_ one day?

Alex groaned, rubbing his head slightly. “Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, I smell of someone’s half-eaten hotdog and probably look like it too. But I’m fine.”

Willie chuckled, holding out a hand to help Alex up. _(What a gentleman.)_ “We should probably get going, hotdog smell and all.”

Willie pulled on his jacket, pulling it closer to his body, shivering slightly. Alex took Willie’s distraction as an opportunity to ogle Willie _(could you really blame him, any sane person in his position would too.) Wait – was that? Yes. There. Pinned on Willie’s jacket, almost hidden in a wild assortment of other pins, was a badge._

_Not any badge._

_A very distinctive, six-coloured,_ rainbow _flag badge._

_With the words ‘pride’ emblazoned on it._

_OK, so maybe Alex owed the universe an apology._

“Well, that’s my road. See you later, hotdog!”

_Hotdog. Seriously?_

_****_

“And _then_ I faceplanted right into someone’s mouldy, smelly hotdog, and it _all over my shirt_. I’ve changed and stuff but I feel like I still smell of hotdog- Luke. Luke! Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, dude. I’m listening.” Luke hummed in response, very clearly not listening. Alex’s eyes followed Luke’s gaze, expecting to see perhaps Julie Molina, or the cheerleading squad coming in after practice.

Instead, he saw _Reggie._

Reggie, laughing with Flynn – Julie Molina's DJ and best friend. Flynn had a hand on Reggie’s arm, and they were looking pridefully over a sheet of paper clutched in Reggie’s hands. Luke looked… well Luke looked _jealous,_ and also slightly hatefully at Flynn.

Sensing danger, Alex lightly gripped Luke’s shoulder. “Woah, dude. Calm down – you look like a volcano about to erupt – what’s the matter, perhaps something a little Reginald related?” Alex raised his eyebrows suggestively, smirking at Luke’s dear-in-the-headlights expression.

Luke huffed, “The problem is- I’m _straight._ ”

“The problem is that you’re straight? Honestly, that makes sense.”

“What, _no._ I mean, _yes._ I just- argh!”

“Eloquent as always, Luke. But I’m assuming this is about your crush on Reggie?”

“I don’t have a _crush on Reggie –_ I’m straight!”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me if you hated it - or loved it. Want do you want to see in further chapters? What should I do (or not do)? Comments make my day, and kudos make me smile!  
> ps. anyone excited for Willie to see Alex perform?


	4. Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunset Perv.  
> That's all you need to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO YES AND I AM SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG BUT I'M BACK AND I PROMISE MORE FREQUENT UPDATES MY LOVELIES <3  
> and THANK YOU for your comments, if i haven't replied yet have no doubt that i WILL i'm just a bit of a chaotic mess right now :)

Honestly, was Alex discovering an unfound hair kink that he never knew about?

_Possibly._

It wasn’t his fault, but Willie’s hair was _most definitely_ a gift from the heavens above – and his _cheekbones._ He had cheekbones better than Benedict Cumberbatch’s – something Alex was unaware was even _humanly_ possible.

(Like Alex had clarified before – Willie probably wasn’t human, more like Hercules-on-earth)

But, on the bright side, Alex had a chance to impress Willie next Friday, during their _(paid!)_ gig, which, hopefully, would boost Sunset Curve into instant stardom across the globe ( _ok, fine, maybe he was exaggerating, considering they were a high school band who’s biggest issues were scraping an A in Spanish)._

 _Anyways,_ hopefully, the gig would go well and then Willie would be swept off his feet by Alex’s rock-band-persona and fall madly and instantly in love with him.

_Ok, it was possible that Alex was once again exaggerating._

Anyways, Alex’s hopeless and irrefutable infatuation aside, at this rate, they would fail step one of _Making Alex’s Unrequited Crush A Little More Requited_ (the title was a work in progress) _,_ which was that they had too _actually impress Willie_ with the performance. Something which definitely wouldn’t be happening considering Luke was too enraptured with Reggie and kept missing his cue.

Judging by Luke’s unfortunate case of heart-eyes, Alex would probably have to come up with a _Making Luke’s Unrequited Crush A Little More Requited_ Plan as well _,_ or something.

For now though, Alex was content to settle with lightly hitting Luke over the head with his drumsticks.

“ _Ow!_ Alex!”

Or maybe _not-so-lightly_ hitting Luke over the head with his drumsticks.

****

Reggie had reported to Alex that Willie was in the crowd, and Alex was regretting every life decision he had ever made. Including being born.

“ _Jeez,_ Alex, you’re going to wear a hole in the carpet if you keep pacing like that.”

“It’s our _first paid gig,_ how are you not nervous?”

Luke smirked, “It’s part of my natural charm, Alex.”

“There is _nothing_ natural about the copious amounts of gel you’ve used in your hair, Luke.”

“ _Rude._ ”

Reggie added his input from where he sat propped up on the sofa arm, “Forget the carpet, you’re going to wear a whole in the _floor_ if you keep walking, Alex.”

“-I’ll have you know that this hair is _perfectly natural.”_

 _“_ And _then,_ when you wear a hole through the floor, you’ll be like that [vine of the guy who falls through the ceiling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gF1fepCvH4)-”

“-And I don’t _need_ hair gel, because my hair is _fabulous_ and-”

“-then you’ll _die_ and Sunset Curve won’t become famous because _no_ musical duos ever survive and the Luke will get the spotlight because he’s sexy and I’ll be alone forever and adopt a million cats!”

“-and I _totally do_ have a natural charm!”

“-ON IN TWO MINUTES”

“I’m not going to _fall through the ceiling and die,_ Reginald-”

“HURRY UP!”

“Guys they’re calling for _us,_ hurry up!”

****

“PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE, SUNSET PERV!”

_Seriously? Damn Luke and his messy handwriting._

“Sunset _Curve_ , actually.” Alex shot a subtle I’m-going-to-kill-you-when-you-go-to-bed-tonight look at Luke and sent a silent prayer that the universe hopefully wouldn’t let him down too badly tonight as he began to drum.

****

“We were AWESOME!”

“Luke are you _trying_ to burst my eardrums? But _yeah,_ we were.”

Reggie ran into the room, “Alex! _Willie_ wants to see you!”, Reggie took a moment to regain his breath before raising his eyebrows and winking deliberately.

Luke pulled himself from his conversation with Julie Molina to push Alex towards the exit, not before whispering a teasing ‘good luck’ in his ear.

_Ok, Willie was here to see him. Which wasn’t really that surprising considering Alex was the one who invited him in the first place._

“Alex! Man! You were _awesome_ out there! Not that I’m surprised, or anything.”

“Thanks Willie, glad you enjoyed.” Alex cringed mentally, _‘glad you enjoyed’. Could he sound any more formal?_

Thankfully, Willie didn’t comment on Alex’s elderly-lady-like choice of words, instead choosing to continue rambling _(adorably)_ about the band’s performance tonight as they walked while Willie waved his arms around wildly, appearing as if he was attempting some sort of demon-summoning ritual. _Honestly, Willie_ could _be summoning Satan himself and Willie would probably still look cute. Not fair._

“You looked really good up there, Alex.” _Was Willie flirting with him? Was this real life? Or was this just a fantasy? Oops, he had slipped into Queen lyrics again._

Somehow, through his flustered thoughts, Alex squeezed out a vaguely comedic response, “Why, are you saying I don’t look good normally?” Alex teased, raising the pitch of his voice slightly and speaking in faux-offended tones.

A laugh passed through Willie’s lips as he chuckled, “Certainly not, in fact I would say you look good all the time.” _Was Willie’s voice deeper? Was it hot in there? Was Willie flirting with him, because Alex had no idea and had zero (count it, zero) intuition._

“Are you flirting with me?” _Oh god. Bad brain. Why did he say that? What if this was platonic and-_

“Depends _._ Is it working?”

_Yes. Most definitely, one hundred percent, undeniably yes._

_And when did their faces get so close?_

_Like Luke-and-Reggie-during-performances close._

_Ugh._ Not _the time to be thinking of Luke and Reggie._

In his tongue-tied state, all he could manage was a breathed out, “Definitely.”

Willie was, undeniably, moving closer to Alex.

 _And god, their faces were_ very _close and Alex could_ literally see _the shadows Willie’s eyelashes were casting on his face and they were definitely having a moment and ohmygod Alex was tilting his face up to meet Willie’s and-_

“ALEX! I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU _EVERYWHERE-”_ Alex’s future murder victim walked into the room, it was _Luke._ _Seriously?_ Just because Luke had a terrible case of blue balls with Reggie didn't mean he got to project it onto Alex. Willie and Alex both jumped apart awkwardly as Alex glared metaphorical daggers into Luke, who, for some reason, didn't look apologetic. But _worried?_

“We’ve got to go _right now!_ Reggie’s mom just got taken in an ambulance, man.”

 _What?_ Instantly, all other thoughts flew out of Alex’s brain, as he allowed himself to be dragged away by Luke. Hastily regaining his manners, he bid Willie a quick and apologetic goodbye as they ran to the back parking lot.

“What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're still reading know that i love you with all of my heart and please please please subscribe, commment and kudos if you like this because that is literally writing fuel for me and makes me go :D  
> i'll try to update soon (and yes i'm halfway through the next chapter so i might possibly update tomorrow or day after tomorrow)  
> and sorry for the cliff hanger guys ;)


	5. Chapter V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’ve really, really wanted to kiss you for some time now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i wrote and rewrote this chapter a bunch of times because i wasn't sure exactly where this was going but then this happened so i hope y'all enjoy

“Just a bad case of food poisoning, most likely from undercooked food or something of the sorts. Just stick to the antibiotics and you should be fine.”

Alex could hear the nurse giving instructions in low tones to Reggie’s mother as he sat on the floor of the tiled corridor with Luke, who hadn’t yet mentioned what he had ran in on yesterday.

“Alex! Remember yesterday when you were with Willie?” _Busted._

 _Play dumb!_ “Nope. Yesterday? Willie? Who’s Willie?” _Maybe he was overdoing the dumb blonde thing a little bit?_

Luke shot him an unimpressed look, jokingly rolling his eyes skywards as he spoke, “You guys were _totally_ gonna kiss!” Luke continued, practicing his noble duty of King Obvious of _Duh._

“We _would’ve,_ if you hadn’t _inter-_ ”

“Hey guys.” Reggie slumped into the room, rubbing at his eyes tiredly

The prior conversation was dismissed in favour of interrogating Reggie hastily about his mother, “Are the doctors discharging your Mom soon?”

“Yeah, they’re keeping her another day to check on her food intake though. But _anyways,_ Luke told me that you almost kissed Willie?”

“Your mother was just taken to hospital in an _ambulance_ and you’re worried about my love life?”

“Eh, she’ll be fine. She’s already yelling at Dad about who undercooked the eggs, so like, back to normal already.” Reggie smiled self-deprecatingly at his sentence.

“Divorce humour. Fun.”

“They’re not divorced _yet_ , actually. But, don’t try to dodge the question, _Alexander_ ”

“My full name isn’t Alexander, _Reginald.”_

“You’re dodging the question again, _Alexander._ ” Reggie emphasised the ‘Alexander’, as if he could somehow go back in time and change the name on Alex’s birth certificate by the power of speaking alone.

“I _am not_ dodging the _-_ ”

“Dodgey-dodge-dodge-”

“We are in a _hospital,_ Reginald. People are _dying._ ”

“And I’m _dying of curiosity, ‘_ cos I need to know what’s happening with your love life.”

“More like a _lack of_ love life, actually.” Alex shot an unsubtle glare at Luke _(Yes, he was still salty about it, sue him)_ “But _fine._ Yes, me and Willie almost kissed.”

Reggie let out an inhumane squeal as Luke passed him over a crumpled five dollar note.

_Wow. Was Luke, pining disaster #1, actually placing bets on Alex’s love life?_

_What had life come too?_

****

Reggie had, following his mom’s discharge from hospital, promptly announced a sleepover at the studio and was currently lying half on top of Luke _(how did those two not realise they were practically already dating at this point?),_ and was asking (read: interrogating) Alex about his Almost Kiss (capitalised) with Willie.

“ _So_ , what are you going to say to him tomorrow?”

Alex let out a strangled sound, “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, when you guys have your _tutoring session._ ”

In response, Alex let out a startled noise and swiftly toppled off the sofa he was seated on.

“Wow, Reg. You finally broke Alex.” Alex could see Luke’s smirk from his unseemly position on the floor.

Reggie chuckled, “It was only a matter of time, anyways.”

Alex chose to ignore their jests in favour of more pressing matters. “It’s _Sunday_ already? We have school _tomorrow_? I have _tutoring_ with Willie tomorrow?”

“Yup.” Reggie responded, popping the ‘P’ for the sole purpose of annoying Alex. 

“I could just ignore it forever and try to pretend it never happened.”

“Or you could tell Willie about your embarrassingly large crush on him.” _Oh yes, because Luke was definitely the best person to give Alex lectures on ‘embarrassingly large crushes’._

“And what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“From where I was standing, it sure _seemed_ like he liked you back.” Luke ribbed.

“Then I’ll have to die my hair and move to another country and live life as a _redhead_.” Alex groaned, earning snorts from Reggie and Luke.

_It never seemed this hard in rom-coms!_

_Not that Alex watched rom-coms, or anything._

_Definitely not._

_Fine. Maybe he watched them a little._

Reggie patted Alex on the had consolingly, “I think you would be a sexy red head, Alex.”

“Thank you?”

“Yeah, you could rename yourself Alex Weasley.” Luke grinned.

_Maybe he had passed out after the gig and was living in some sort of fever-dream mindscape as his inner subconcious laughed at him?_

_Unlikely, but not impossible._

Alex pinched himself a few times to check he wasn’t having a fever dream, before letting out a dramatic groan again.

Luke decided to add his input, proclaiming, “Dude, just _talk to him._ Just say, ‘Hey Willie, you feature as the leading role in all of my wet dreams-”

Alex squawked indignantly, tumbling off the sofa once again. “I AM NOT SAYING _THAT_ TO HIM _-”_

Luke and Reggie’s rambunctious laughter rang out through the studio walls, overpowering Alex’s shocked spluttering.

Alex dropped his hands in his head and sighed loudly. “Useless. You guys are useless.”

Reggie winked, “But you still love us.”

“And also Willie.” Luke added, unhelpfully.

“ _Oh my god shut up.”_

****

Alex tapped his fingers on the table rapidly, waiting for Willie to arrive. Admittedly, Alex still had no plan for what he would do when Willie actually _did_ turn up. After much thought and deliberation on the matter, all Alex had concluded that he would probably look terrible with red hair.

_What if Willie doesn’t show up because Alex totally ruined their friendship and now the only time he would ever see Willie again is when they desperately tried to ignore each other in the corridors and everything would be awkward as-_

“Alex?” Fingers snapped in front of his face, “You there, man?”

“Um. Yeah. Yup. Totally. Hey Willie.” _There were two year olds more coherent then that, for god’s sake._

Willie scratched the back of his neck slightly as he strolled to where Alex was seated. “Sooo…” Willie started, stretching out the syllables as his voice went a little higher. “We should probably talk about Friday, or something. But like, not in here, ‘cos Mrs Wentworth has like… laser vision and would totally kill us for talking in the library.”

It took Alex a few moments to register what Willie was saying, _(Argh! Why don’t brains work when you need them?)_ before he pushed out a response from his tightening throat. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Let’s go.”

They walked in a stiff silence for a few minutes, both of them waiting for the other to initiate the conversation.

They had left the school grounds, and were on the path down the Highstreet when Willie cleaved the silence in half, “I almost kissed you on Friday.” Willie’s voice was, comparative to his usual tones, bland. He wasn’t passing judgment, simply stating the fact as it was.

Alex responded in similar tones, “And I would have kissed you back.” 

“Would you have regretted it? If you had kissed me back, I mean?”

There was no hesitation in Alex’s reply, just undiluted truth. “No. I wouldn’t have regretted it.” Alex paused for a second, then continued, “Honestly? It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for some time, now.”

Willie came to a halt when he heard Alex’s words, they had stopped in a relatively empty street, populated by a few uninterested habitants, milling around their daily business. The rain had began to drizzle lightly, which Alex took as a sign the universe was watching. What the universe was trying to tell him, though, Alex still had no idea. Alex rubbed his arm slightly, wating for a response, _what’s the worse that could have happen, right?_

Willie’s response was so quiet that his words could quite literally have been swept away by the wind, “I’ve really, _really_ wanted to kiss you for some time now too, Alex.”

Alex’s response was breathed out in the slightest whisper, “Then do it.”

And Willie did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP NOW.   
> i've had to abandon this fic so this is the best place to stop and get closure.  
> ly all!!


	6. Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, some trigger warnings for the chapter: homophobia ((not directed AT alex)) and dissociation (depersonalisation and derealisation) , but NOT dissociative disorders at all.

Alex had barely stepped foot into his room before being accosted by Luke and Reggie, who were sitting comfortably on Alex’s bed, which was slightly creepy, considering Alex hadn’t invited them in. As soon as he nudged the door open, their voices blared through, prodding him about his _date_ with Willie.

 _It still felt so surreal to him, that he had just gone on a_ date _with Willie. Alex really owed the universe one. Or two. Or a billion._

He interrupted their spiel of questions to ask one of his own, “How did you guys _get_ in here?”

“We told your Mom that you were failing French and _generously_ offered to tutor you.” Luke informed him, rifling through Alex’s bookshelf. Alex briefly considered telling Luke to stop going through his stuff, before dismissing the idea because Luke never would’ve listened to him anyways.

“I don’t even _take_ French, I dropped it like _two years_ ago! _None of us_ take French! _"_ _Idiots._

“Well your Mom doesn’t know that!”

“I’m pretty sure she does!” _Actually, she probably didn’t. Considering she was usually blowing off her family for business._

Reggie shook his head, almost to almost whacking Luke, who was now digging through Alex’s bedside drawers, in the face, “Never mind that, tell us what happened on your _daaaateeeee_ with Willie.”

“Did you _break into my house_ just to ask me about my date?”

“It’s not breaking in if your Mom let us in.” Reggie reasoned.

“You entered on a false premise, _actually._ ” Alex shot back, before continuing, “ _Whatever,_ yeah, my date went well, Willie-”

“Walked you back home? Yeah, we were watching from the window.” Reggie inputted.

_Who needed stalkers when you had Reggie and Luke?_

“Do you not have anything better to do with your life?”

“No, not really. This beats Spanish revision any day, plus, I always get money from the betting pools because Luke is an idiot and the human personification of a life fail.”

Luke, demonstrating how mature he was, stuck his tongue out at Reggie.

“The betting _pools,_ plural? Never mind, I don’t wanna know, do I?”

Luke and Reggie tried and failed to look slightly guilty, grinning like toddlers who had gotten away with stealing candy.

Before any of them could say anything, they heard the tell-tale click of an opening door as his Mom’s voice drifted through the room. A little too late, they realised they were supposed to be ‘revising French’ ( _Honestly, his friends would be_ terrible _spies.)_ hastily, they all reached to grab a textbook or a notebook as Luke dived to the bed as Alex shoved himself into a chair.

“Hey Alex, have you seen your sister’s black jacket? She swears she left it at home. Honestly, you think that now she’s got a full-time job, she’d be more organised, but _nope.”_

Alex shook his head quickly, discreetly signalling to Reggie to turn his textbook the right way up. A cursory glance confirmed that they had at least all grabbed some sort of History textbook, at least.

His Mom eyes the history textbooks suspiciously. “I thought you said you were helping Alex in French?” _Mom, I dropped that two years ago. If you weren’t always so busy with business, maybe you would know._

Luke stuttered out his response first, “Um. Yes. When I said French, I meant _French history._ Of course.”

Reggie carried on from where Luke had left off, “Y’know, The French Revolution, the role of France in the World Wars, the invention of the Baguette. Standard stuff, really.”

Thankfully, Alex’s Mom was pulled away by the desperate ringing off her phone. “Well OK boys, thanks for helping Alex. If you’re hungry, just go down to the kitchen and help yourselves! Also, Alex. Your Dad can’t get away from the conference in London. They’re probably going to close the deal tonight.”

_Great. Another night with his mother tied up with work and his father away for business. But at least his sister was home for now._

His parents were great parents, don’t get him wrong. They loved him and he knew it, they didn’t fight like Reggie’s parents, and they were fine with the band as long as he kept up his grades, unlike Luke’s parents. But ever since they had been promoted to higher up roles, they were getting increasingly busy and were out of the house most weekdays. It was just that Alex kind of missed it when his parents were around all the time, which was stupid, really.

He wasn’t annoyed at them, they tried their best to give him and his sister the best they could, and Alex was grateful for it, he just wished for the times when he wasn’t eating dinner alone for most of the week. But, on the bright side, his sister would be home for the next five months, so he could at least have time to catch up with her.

“Reggie, did you just say _Invention of the Baguette?_ ”

“What, it’s a valid question. In fact, I’m searching it up _right now.”_

“That seems like a terrible idea-” Alex broke off, relising the futility in his protests. “OK.”

“It was a man names August Zang in the 19th Century.” Reggie responded, sounding unreasonably smug about it. “But, what I was wondering was; is Willie a good kisser?”

“What- Why- I am _not_ telling you that.”

“So does that mean your boyfriend’s a terrible kisser?”

“What? Firstly, he’s _not officially my boyfriend.”_ Alex silently added ‘yet’, “And he is a _great_ kisser, actually.”

“HA! I KNEW IT!” Reggie made grabby hands at Luke’s pockets as Luke pulled out a tired twenty doller note from his jeans.

“ _Why would you bet on that?_ Oh my god _why are you like this_? That is _so weird._ ”

Luke was about to shoot back an amused rebuttal when his phone beeped suddenly, “Hey, guys! Bobby said that his exchange programs been cut short so he’s coming back soon!”

“Seriously? Awesome.”

“Cool.” They both searched for their phones, looking at their messages from Bobby.

“Hey- Um. Alex? Are you gonna tell bobby, ‘bout liking boys?”

“I don’t think so, not yet at least.”

****

Students poured out of class gratefully as the final bell rang to signal the end of school.

_The speed those students were escaping class at, you would think they were escaping the zombe aolocolypse._

Alex, personally, was escaping something much worse than the zombie apocalypse.

Luke and Reggie’s persistent pestering _(Ha. Persistent Pestering)_ about _everything_ Willie related.

 _Honestly, Luke and Reggie were more interested in Willie and Alex’s love life than_ Alex _was._

As Alex crossed the necessary roads while taking turns to get to his house, he mused silently to himself, that if Luke and Reggie put even a _tenth_ of the energy they put into Alex’s dating life into their own, they would have been together years ago.

“Hey hotdog!” Willie winked, catching Alex’s hand as he turned the corner to a deserted road.

_Guess that nickname was sticking._

Alex turned his head around to check for any occupants of the street, but there was no one – which, logically speaking, made sense, considering he was quite far from their school. 

_Speaking of, wasn’t Willie’s house, like, in the complete opposite direction as Alex’s?_

“Hey Willie.” _Oh god, was he blushing? Please say he wasn’t blushing. He was probably blushing._ “Did you _follow_ me till we were alone?”

This time, it was Willie who blushed _(Willie’s blushing, in turn, caused Alex to blush even harder, so really, it ended with both of them blushing anyways),_ “I didn’t _fol_ \- Well, yeah, actually, I did.”

Alex snorted, “So you followed me till I was alone on a deserted street? Was this all an elaborate plot leading up to my unfortunate murder on the-”

Willie grinned, shaking his head fondly. He rebutted, “Who said your murder would be _unfortunate,_ Alexander?”

Alex poised a faux-anguished expression, clutching a hand to his heart, “You wound me, William. Your secret motives have been discovered! You’re planning to _murder_ me” Alex declared, waving his arms around wildly.

“Why would I murder you when I could do _this._ ” Willie lightly pushed Alex back onto a brick wall, and put his hands of Alex’s shoulders as he planted his lips on Alex’s.

_Smooth fucker._

Alex buried his hands in Willie’s hair and deepened the kiss as Willie’s tongue parted Alex’s lips. Alex was about to switch their positions as Willie’s hands drifted down to Alex’s waist and began to explore the smooth planes of Alex’s back. Alex was about to-

_Ring Ring._

Alex tried valiantly to ignore the insistent noise.

_Ring Ring._

“Um- Alex. You should probably get that.”

_Stupid phone._

Alex pulled away reluctantly as he checked the caller ID. It was his mother.

_Stupid mother._

_Wait no, sorry Mom, I didn’t mean that._

Begrudgingly, Alex clicked the _accept_ button, putting his phone to his ear, “Hey Mom.”

“Hey Alex! My business meeting got cancelled so I’m coming home early tonight, and your Dad’s boss got sick so he’s already at home with your sister.”

“That’s awesome Mom.”

“We’re gonna go out for dinner tonight as a family, and your dad wanted me to make sure you haven’t got any plans already? You sound slightly out of breath, did I interrupt anything?”

 _Yes, Mom. You definitely interrupted. I_ was _kissing my hopefully-boyfriend till you somehow cockblocked me from miles away._ Instead, Alex cleared his throat and proclaimed “Nope, I was just, um, racing Reggie down the street. I haven’t got any plans.”

“Awesome! See you then, Alex. Love you.”

“Bye Mom, love you too.”

****

Alex pulled himself a seat at Pizza Hut, listening dutifully as his sister regaled the family with tales of her work at a children’s hospital.

“Alex, stop looking at your phone and pay attention to your sister. She’s been working so hard recently!” His mother chastised gently, smiling as she turned to Leila one more.

_Ugh. Do-gooders. Couldn’t his sister have become a businesswomen or something equally as evil?_

_Now Alex couldn’t even interrupt her stories because, like, which monster interrupts someone telling a heart-warming tale about a young child recovering from cancer?_

_For the sake of all things holy, even the waiters had stopped to listen to her stories. His sister was practically a modern-day saint, a Mother Teresa of the modern times._

“Also, Leila. Matthew and Elizabeth got engaged last month, isn’t that-” Alex’s mother trailed off in the middle of her sentence, freezing to a shock.

By the look of horror painted on his mom’s face, he was expecting to see something truly horrific at the entrance of Pizza Hut, perhaps a serial killer with a blood-dripping axe or a group of car salesmen. Instead, he saw two women hand-in-hand, with a small child clutched in their arms. It was pretty _fucking adorable_ actually.

“Is that- Is that _Lisa and Matilda?_ I had no idea they were – _y’know_?” Alex’s Mom said, dropping her voice to a whisper as she enunciated the word ‘y’know’.

Alex wanted to say _; Y’know?_

_Gay, Mom. Do you mean that they’re gay? Lesbians? Homosexuals? Queer? Yes, to all of that._

_And so is your son._

_Your son is also indeed, as you would term it, y’know._

Instead, he stayed silent as his father declared, “Disgusting. They shouldn’t do this in _public._ ”

“They shouldn’t do it at all.” Alex’s mother added.

“Quite right, Charlotte.”

“You know that’s never going to be acceptable, right Alex?” Alex mother asserted firmly.

Alex’s dad chuckled, acting as if the notion itself was ridiculous. “Glad we haven’t raised any of our kids like that, imagine, our kids, as faggo-”

Alex knew what his father was saying, but the words themselves had blurred out to insignificant white noise, as if he was watching himself through a dream – watching people through a thick, warped glass, blurring them. Perhaps that was just unshed tears, desperately being fought back from his eyes? He couldn’t tell.

Suddenly, he was watching his life play out like a movie, but one of those movies you put on when you weren’t really paying attention and you’re not really sure what’s happening and the characters are saying words but they mean nothing to you.

Who he was, his name, his age, became unimportant. Where we was became irrelevant. There were hands clasped in his lap, where they his? A head, maybe it was his head, was nodding along to what the people – his parents, he thought dully – were saying.

Pizza was placed on the plate in front of him.

Fork.

Knife.

He should pick them up.

But his body wasn’t really _his body_ , it was an entity that though rationally he knew, in the back of his subconsciousness, was _his body_ , but as he watched the hands – _his hands_ – pick up the food, place it into his mouth, he was only aware on a logical level that he was the one doing all of these things.

He knew he was feeling pain, that he was upset. But there was no familiar aching in his chest. The two people in front of him – his mother and father, though _his_ felt relative at the moment. Because _his_ would require a _him,_ and a _him_ was the body he knew was his, but felt as if he was watching in a static filled TV screen, or one of those dreams where you know what happened but can’t remember the exact faces and names of the people involved.

“Alex, Alex darling?”

There was a pinch on his arm.

_Shit. His arm._

Him, Alex, he was seventeen and part of a band called Sunset Curve. He had a sister and two best friends. He hated Spanish class and loved Harry Potter.

It took insurmountable amounts of strength not to flinch violently at the contact. A cursory glance proved his hands were trembling. “Oh, hey. Zoned out.”

Leila laughed, a tinkling sort of thing, “You were like, looking at that plate like it had all the answers to the secrets of the universe, Alex. And I’m pretty sure you started rocking back an forth a little bit.”

“Oh, um. I’ve got a bunch of tests next week, just kinda worried ‘bout them is all.”

“You really haven’t changed, huh, Alex.” She grinned happily.

The conversation seemed to have moved on from the- -- previous topic. Now his mother and father were discussing annoying bosses as his sister tried to choose a drink from the menu, no one even vaguely perturbed by what they had just said.

In fact, the only person who seemed in the slightest bit affected by the conversation was Alex.

His phone beeped a few times, a quick flick of his wrist displayed a collection of unread messages.

 ** _BobTheBuilder:_** guess who’s on his connection flight??

 ** _Skywalker:_** *plane emoji* *plane emoji*

 ** _BobTheBuilder:_** did you just type out the words *plane emoji*???

 ** _Pizza4Life:_** yeah, Luke broke his phone trying to toss it on his desk so his mom had to give him her old phone

 ** _Pizza4Life:_** old phone as in a flip phone

 ** _Skywalker:_** *sad face emoji* *sad face emoji*

 ** _Pizza4Life:_ **☹

 ** _BobTheBuilder_ : **☹

 ** _Skywalker:_** y must you mock me like this?

and, a final text;

 ** _Willie:_** hey! I really enjoyed the other day, do you wanna do that again some time? :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading guys!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: please know that i am NOT A MEDICAL PROFFESIONAL, and my information comes from INTERNET RESEARCH and i am NOT telling you what to do or say, NOR AM I to be held responsible for ANY of your resulting actions. this is simply what I have learned from internet browsing, and my OWN personal experience. I repeat: this is from MY experiences and what i''ve tried to understand from the INTERNET:
> 
> \- I wrote Alex's reaction like mine when my Dad first explicitly told me he wouldn't love me if I was gay (I'm closeted, by the way) after we had seen a gay couple on TV.  
> \- Everyone's reactions to these sorts of things vary, first of all.  
> \- Alex, in this chapter, experienced 'depersonalisation' and 'derealisation'. ((ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET)) this does NOT always require treatment.  
> \- Personally, i'm quite familiar with these symptoms, so that's what i drew on too write this  
> hope y'all enjoyed xxx


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